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i think i've been doing so much the last two weeks it doesnt feel like the "rest" i wanted to give myself before school starts. Don't get me wrong, i'll die without meeting friends, without rowing, without doing all sorts of nonsense with everyone and without just spending time sitting around doing nothing with everyone. But i'm actually tired. hahaha... before school starts tmr and this is how i'm feeling. Maybe it's also cos i've just heard from some friends and suddenly realise that i've been neglecting them or somehow just not showing enough concern. I suddenly realise I should be so glad that people still bother to call me, treat me as a good friend and share their problems cos i'm such a passive friend. And it happened 3 times in the last week. THRICE. time to change i would say... time to change... *glares at self* What happened last night really affected me and it doesnt even concern me directly. and I got another disturbing sms from another friend that got me all worried. worst thing? i dun think i can do anything... *glares again*
plus, rowing sucked yesterday. For the first time in a really long time, i was damn pissed in the boat and I was pissed at myself. my stroke sucked, i was dying/out of breath/wanting to kill someone by the 3rd set, i was pacer (only for 3 sets!) and already doing a terrible job at it and THE BOAT JUST WON'T MOVE. all that PLUS i know of certain changes to the team that i hope won't kill whatever little morale is left. Today's break was definitely good. Maybe we're all just tired... maybe things WILL improve next week. i really see something special in this team and I think we can do it TOGETHER. I will hope... now, i'm just gonna crash into bed.

@ 7:52 AM

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