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i've not been this excited the entire year, save for the US trip and all that happened there. I've not felt this spark of hope and excitement for so long it almost feels foreign.

maybe it's a sign that dreams can still come true, if only we listened to ourselves and did what we've wanted to do all this while.

maybe it's living for ourselves and no one else and if this materialized, then we'd become living testament that chasing your dreams still work in this day and age.

life since returning from the US has been one big emotional struggle. i don't remember how many times i've cried because of work and of him and i'm almost turning into someone even i don't recognize - and it sucks. i'm amazed, really happy for and somewhat envious of all my other friends who seem to have their lives figured out - getting engaged, buying houses, getting married, having careers they envisioned having all their lives etc. i'm very much still in the process of discovery... and i dont think i'm getting anywhere near to an answer. But then again, maybe i do enjoy this process of finding out, of realizing what drives me and what i loathe. Maybe i dont EVER need to have an answer and yet still be enjoying this process. i think i have to let things go... and not kill myself trying to be ms perfect for everyone, cos that's not going to happen even if i die trying. (and there might not be a PERFECT in the first place... it's all my stupid thinking)


this dream is not an antidote. but it would remind me that dreams can be much more than just wild fancies or hopes, and if we want it badly enough, we might just be able to live this dream.

Taken at a candy shop on Cannon Beach on a beautiful rainy Sunday afternoon.

@ 9:01 AM

sleep is my only respite these days.

@ 12:30 PM

"...and when you tell him to stop saying i love you and he stops, you know he loves you."




i'm doing nothing right these days.

@ 5:24 AM

how now, brown cow?

加油.

@ 8:43 AM

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